Middle Children

Interesting.....I am a middle child......I have a middle child and I see comments about middle children all the time.

It is something we don't work toward being on our own but take on this challenge (as it does appear to be a challenge) with vigor.

Besides actually being in the middle, we appear to always be in the middle of something.

We envy the oldest child as they always seem to have that special bond with their parents.  It is not that they are loved more....they just paved the way for our parents in their all important role and it does make their relationship different than ours with them. Of course when you are 2 you have no idea that is what you are in the middle of (pardon the pun) but you do know that you are different than your older sib.

We envy the youngest child as they too have a bond with Mom  and Dad as "the baby of the family".  Special privileges come with this position as you seem to have a more mellow set of parents who take life a bit easier and the youngest child reaps the benefits of this because if they do mess up it is really not such a big deal.  And again, at an early age this means trying to find many outrageous ways of getting some of that attention you are certainly due from Mom and Dad.

Clearly the oldest child always knows what they are doing and where they are going and the youngest child knows that whatever they do it will be alright because they are "the baby" but we middle children are always left wondering what our position entails.

Then, in the blink of an eye, we are parents and we see our own middle child and  it suddenly clears up a lot about the position.  Middle children need to be reassured that their position is valuable and they are not missing out on anything. They watch carefully what has happened and what is happening with their younger and older siblings and usually use this as ammunition to make us feel parental guilt.

I would suspect that their high activity at an early age really has more to do with how we are as parents than how they are as middle children.  The parents already have relaxed their ways and the middle child instinctively knows they can push the boundaries out further.  They have watched what older sib has attained and can prove to you that they can do more.....higher, faster, louder.....and the list goes on.  This happens even before we become middle children as our activity level is higher even before #3 arrives.

Then when #3 arrives "middle children" as they now have truly become have already earned their badge and now they define the true image as they have younger sib to compete with......AAAAAGHHHH!


I like to focus on all the good things we middle children do........like hold things together.  Being in the middle is natural for us and since we are so conditioned to it we migrate to it in our work lives our social lives and pretty much in every aspect of what we are forever and ever.

So much so that at times in your life you wonder.....how the heck did this role happen to me....can't I get out of the middle?  Well the answer is ....Yes!  but it is hard work and you are continually egged on by those around you to lure you back into the middle.

Especially Moms love to lure you back into your role.  I actually heard my own Mother recently say to me.."You never have an opinion about anything!"  Now how ridiculous is that?  Of course I have an opinion.  I have just tried really hard to keep those opinions to myself and stay out of the middle of things.  She secretly cannot wait for my younger sibling to arrive to have a good fight with someone as I rarely take the bait.  A big disappointment to my Mom who is conditioned for  me to be the "middle child".

So stand up Middle children and unite.....you have choices.....and always remember there is good and bad about our positions.

Interestingly enough the only people we have to blame in this entire situation is our parents because they really could have stopped having kids and we could have turned out to be that spoiled youngest child and who would really want that?  :)


 



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Mirror Mirror on the Wall

Well now that I have started blogging I have been wondering what is appropriate timing for blogging.  I have a lot of ideas but don't want to pressure myself to blog every day or every week.  I think I will just go with the flow and when it comes .... BLOG!

I am interested if other people have the same weird thoughts that I do about certain subjects.....and one of these subjects is WRINKLES.

During the Christmas break I had my son take a new photo of me for my work.  I thought it was time to get rid of the blonde streak.....since I have not had that for a couple of years now.  It was also known as "the skunk" look by my youngest dear son.  It was soon after that comment I suddenly had the urge to rid myself of the streak.

Reilly was very dedicated to the task and immediately popped it onto the computer screen for us to review and choose an appropriate photo.  Well the last couple of years have definitely changed my look.  You do look at yourself every day in the mirror but strangely you do not really look at yourself as you do when someone takes your photo.  I was wondering where the old me went.....well I guess that would be the young me.

So, while I was busy wondering that I noticed that he was busy working on my photo.......and yes, he was removing my wrinkles on Photoshop.  I asked him what he thought he was doing and he said, "Well you do want me to remove some of those don't you?"

That left me wondering......really is that necessary?  Do I really want to look younger....I mean yes I want to look younger but do I really want to look younger enough to change my looks on a photo?  And why should I do that?  It is me as I really look and why should I be ashamed of that?  Is this society's pressure for me to want this?

Of course he continued and I finally said, "Well don't take too many off....I want to look like me you know!"

I think we need to stand up to this obsession and say.....HELLO....we are what we are and let's face it....we are going to get old or die...and personally, I think I want to get old, have Grandkids, love my kids, enjoy life and experience it to the end.

I have earned every one of those and hope to earn some more.  I have a vivid memory of a woman in an old National Geographic magazine that I saw many years ago.  She was very wrinkled, almost to the point of looking like an old potato, but she was incredibly beautiful and so full of life.  Her face exuded all the years and experiences she had lived and I just loved that photo.

I want to make a change and it is going to start with me.....Mrs. old potato.....want to join me?

My First Ever Blog

Well my niece and cousin's daughter got me intrigued about blogging so I thought I would give it a try.  Not sure what a middle aged woman like myself will have to say that is read worthy but who knows it may be fun?!

January is such a dreary month and, in my already Vitamin D deficient state,  that may be a very good reason to try to take my mind off what is happening outside....as in snow and cold and concentrate what is happening inside....my mind that is.

I just finished reading all the New Year tips on Oprah.com and am left wondering if this yearly cycle thing is healthy.  Women seem to struggle so much with the constant back and forth and push and pull of weight loss....weight gain, feeling happy ....feeling sad, sexy....not sexy....you know how it goes.  I watch my house full of men and they never seem to go through any major ups and downs like women do.  I don't know if that is good or bad but it sure is different.  Sometimes I could just scream but mostly I just end up sitting back and laughing at how utterly ridiculous I must appear to them.

Of course, they appear quite ridiculous to me as well when they preen themselves in front of the mirror all happy in their pot-bellied bliss.  They could care less if they don't look exactly perfect. I  actually feel kind of sick when I hear my son say...."Oh I really need to gain weight!"  Who in their ever-loving right mind needs to gain weight.  Don't they know the entire world is trying desperately to lose weight?

They also never appear to feel sad....in fact they don't appear to feel anything at all!  They spend their entire time wondering what we are feeling and terrified to ask as we darn well would tell them and it would likely end up being their fault as well.....even the weight thing somehow is their fault.

And feeling sexy....well that is a whole other kettle of fish.....I frankly cannot remember really what that is except maybe on the odd occasion another woman may comment on how great you look or that you are really seeming healthy....who wants to hear that from another woman?  Well I guess I do at this point as I don't hear it anywhere else :)

And so....welcome January 2011......feeling a bit overweight, not entirely happy and definitely not sexy!  Bring it on!